Is it safe ? (45)

1 Name: Devine.Wonderland (fanfiction.net) : 2009-10-26 09:00 ID:pxlJ7c6I

Nowadays internet safety is a big issue especially for people like me who are underage - I am 14.
How could we make sue that the meetings are completely safe for all parties involved and that the pople/person we arrange to meet are completely genuine?

2 Name: Anonymous : 2009-10-26 09:06 ID:Yj/1cavB

>>1
For one thing, we can make sure that the meetings aren't just between two people. I think that a meeting between two people is the most unsafe. If there can be at least three or four people who can attend such a meeting in some public location, I think that it would be much safer.

3 Name: Anonymous : 2009-10-26 09:09 ID:Yj/1cavB

>>1
Also, I have seen at least 2 posts by people asking people to send them an e-mail to discuss about offline meetings. I think that moving the conversation to some kind of private communication is definitely a bad idea safety-wise. It is a much better idea to keep a discussion on this bulletin board or some other public location, where everybody can see it.

4 Name: Harbinger of Doom : 2009-10-31 17:18 ID:ZIYvD/Lx

>>3 Yeah i agree

5 Name: Imperial Mint : 2009-11-01 13:15 ID:OjSBo93c

I think maybe take the meeting somewhere such as an anime convention, or somewhere that there are a lot of people around, and check that it's more than a few people. Get to know the people before, I don't think private communication (e.g. emailing) is such a bad idea. Set up a new email account if you need to that keeps your personal details hidden.

If you decide you don't like the person or aren't comfortable through emails, just cut contact, close the account etc. Give it at least a few months of talking before meeting, and, again, make sure it's around a lot of people and with more than one other person.

Also, I hate to say it, but age limits probably need to be reinforced. Such as no one below 14, and no travelling ridiculous distances. Keep to somewhere you know, maybe, and somewhere you can get out of easily if need be.

6 Name: Anonymous : 2009-11-01 13:52 ID:Yj/1cavB

>>5
"Get to know the people before, I don't think private communication (e.g. emailing) is such a bad idea."
Actually, I think that it is. In private communication, nobody else can see if something wrong is going on. Besides, nobody should be revealing personal details that they are not comfortable revealing to everybody - you can't know who you are talking to if you are talking privately. It is much better to talk to each other publicly.

7 Name: Anonymous : 2009-11-01 13:56 ID:Yj/1cavB

>>5
Also, I think that it would be a much better idea to get to know each other at the offline meeting itself, not before the offline meeting - if you see each other face to face, then you know who you are talking to, and you will know what you are comfortable revealing about yourself. But if you don't see each other face to face, you can't be sure whether the other person is lying or not, and it is more dangerous to reveal personal details online.

8 Name: Anonymous : 2009-11-01 14:01 ID:Yj/1cavB

>>5
One more thing. Through private communication like e-mail, it would be very difficult for anybody else who might be interested in the meeting to join in, because nobody would know about the private communication except those who are already talking to each other. This would definitely limit the number of people who could go to a meeting. It would be best for there to be at least 4 or 5 people to go to such a meeting, and this would be difficult to achieve through e-mail (and, of course, one-to-one meetings are not very safe). On a bulletin board like this, however, anybody who sees it can join in at any time, making it much easier for more people to get involved.

9 Name: Aaron Anderson : 2009-11-02 08:25 ID:+Web3efG

You meet people on the bulletin, you organize events on the bulletin, if you want to speak confidentially to someone then it shouldn't be about arranging to meet up it should just be about talking to somebody on a one-to-one basis.
We sometimes like to talk with just the one person at a time without having 10 other people intervening.

and yep reading that it sounds quite rude but that's my opinion.

10 Name: Anonymous : 2009-11-02 09:47 ID:Yj/1cavB

>>9
Agreed - you can use e-mail to talk about more confidential matters, but meeting up should never be confidential.

11 Name: Rathen : 2009-11-04 16:19 ID:fAsuYXqk

I agree with the whole keeping conversations about meeting up public! Plus, you could always get someone, eg close friend or parent, to come with you to any meetings. That way you're not arriving or leaving alone and you wont be entirely surrounded by strangers.

12 Name: Bagel : 2009-11-05 09:55 ID:Pezb6R8E

im glad there is a thread about this
safety is such a big issue these days especially on the intertnet
Always keep to meeting in quite large groups
and always tell your parents where your going
also if you can, go with friends you already have if your going to meet somone
safety in numbers
Public places are a must, try to meet in the middle of town, where lots of people can see
Alsooo
try and get your parents to drop you off and stick around a few minutes, if a creepy guy approaches you well then your dad can kick his ass and you can get away FAST!!
Personally I think sticking to the board for a while would be better before jumping straight in with meetings.
Also maybe in local communities setting up clubs, and advertising them around town and on here, at least that way you might be able to get a mix of people.
x

13 Name: Yellow 14 : 2009-11-07 13:29 ID:bov3MdRe

I have two suggestions regarding offline meetings and communication. While private e-mails are a no-go area, what about using ff.nets PM system as a way of communicating? Of course you need to avoid personel details, but it's very easy to block users if things go bad.

As for public meetings, pick a very public area, with plenty of ways out, that way things are less likely to go bad and if they do, escape and help aren't far away. DO NOT DO SOMETHING STUPID LIKE GET INTO A CAR WITH SOMEONE etc.

14 Name: Twisted : 2009-11-07 14:07 ID:6DX8uHFh

I like the idea of a front cover for the FanFictions, but I do agree with other people that there is going to have to be lets say, one chapter to get people interested, not only by doing this it'll also get people more interested in FanFiction.net itself but also in the stories themselves.

Also maybe merging more fanart to the actual stories, lets say - having more than one person creating the story itself, one person getting ideas/typing while the other is doing the artwork.

Though we all know about the 'you must be careful' thing; but that can be sorted out carefully amoung parents/family/friends and such.

15 Name: welsh fariy : 2009-11-12 09:42 ID:jiZM8N4w

i think safty is very inportant so i'm happy this is hear. but it's kind of like the rules link which i think is great. it's basically saying meet in public areas and maybe have chaperones. all that kind of stuff. i suggest you all go check it out.

16 Name: Celena : 2009-11-12 16:06 ID:igzmTbpJ

Hi, again...

All you guys are making valid points. It is all really coming down to common sense and intuition.

We all know the basics: no 1 to 1s; no giving out details; always have company that you know you can trust, preferably more than 2 people; let someone know where you're going; give as much information about the people or person or place that you're going to, to someone in case something does happen; preferably meet some place that you know, with easy access to exits and help...

Unfortunately, it is tricky to be able to say "get to know someone". There is no really getting to know a person. Lies can be easy to create. Someone that wants to cause harm can be very patient. With all of us being so wary about each other, how much are we really going to tell one another and how long will it really take for us to trust?

There is no getting around the fact that there is a danger out there but just because there are some rather funky people out and about, doesn't mean we have to do anything extreme.

We keep it simple. We will all be meeting for the first time, and those first few meetings are vital. Some degree of trust would have been formed by then but there is always safety first. Come chaperoned, bring friends, keep your phones charged, with credit and on hand. Know where you're going. Keep a track of food or drinks, if bought at the meeting place. Keep an eye on each other, we're not just looking out for ourselves, we're on the route to being friends, don't leave anyone alone.

Also, the danger may not even come from someone that is within the group. Be alert. Not paranoid.

I can't think of anything else but I'm sure I'll be bugging you all later.

Chaperones are definitely a valid option that we should look into. I may put a link up about it.

17 Name: Anonymous : 2009-11-12 19:55 ID:Yj/1cavB

>>16
Indeed, perhaps it might be best not to tell each other about ourselves before we meet, and just come without expectations of what the other people are like, like an "anonymous meeting" or something like that - and to get to know each other only at the meeting itself, not before the meeting. After all, this is the internet, and there really is no good way to get to know each other over the internet (and you cannot be sure whether others are telling the truth anyways), and it is probably best not to tell each other our personal information over the internet anyways.

18 Name: RayRay : 2009-11-13 07:35 ID:jT80ZP4a

I only get to know people who I can see and talk with using webcams. I have 3 online friends, all of whom are too far away for me to meet. But we've got to know eachother slowly, and now I wouldnt hesitate to meet them if I had the money.

Shame.

People should always exercise caution. Its amazing what people can do. Everyone should follow a certain set of "rules"...for instance - no one go alone, find a friend who's willing to go...

That way as well, if you get lost, you're with someone already!

19 Name: Nadine : 2009-11-13 22:47 ID:AtTT3Saa

It would be safe as long as its in a public area and you tell people where you are. I agree with that an age limit amy be nessessary and the travel distance should be short.

Private communication isnt terrible and a nwe email adress would work but becareful who you share it with and tell someone as soon as it leave a comfort zone. I have a couple of online friends who ive been talking to for almost two years. Ive met one of them and it was in a public place with other friends with us.

20 Name: Anne Phoenix : 2009-11-17 03:55 ID:uIOEzjtX

I think public locations area must for first meetings, preferably large areas e.g. Expo, conventions, etc ...

Personally I would very uncomfortable indeed organising to meet anyone under the age of 18. Ok, if it's a huge meetup and people just happen to come along that's different, but small groups I always organise to meet in a pub so that particular issue is addressed from the start. I do think it's important to be open about our age-groups and to be aware of what is appropriate.

21 Name: appura-chan : 2009-11-21 04:33 ID:XQBt3tVY

on 'rules' i think someone mentioned 'what if everyone else has parents and you're the only one over 18' that would be bad but also if you were the only one with parents, so that makes it really crucial to check ages before going ahead with things, of course no 1to1s they are stupid and dangerous. maybe a group of 5 or 6, I would not say any more than 7 or less than 4 though. just my opinion.

22 Name: sofi : 2009-11-21 11:53 ID:6Qj3wMGR

if people go with an adult then it could be safer than on our own.

23 Name: ItachisPurpleChakra : 2009-11-22 02:15 ID:LWRMln9b

Appura is right; Yoshino-san (the creator of this site) says that there would have to be at least five people to each gathering in order to make it safe.
I know how big an issue safety is. My mum is kinda over-protective of me and my siblings DX
-Darkie-sama

24 Name: GirlFromTheSeam : 2009-11-23 11:33 ID:mUVdzKiX

I like this forum because we are on the internet and you do have to be careful, I mean I am 13 and if i ever met anyone even on this site I would bring a parent with me and also arrange to meet in a cafe in a busy part of town with the five or six people because then nothing could happen :)

25 Name: Nadine : 2009-11-23 11:42 ID:z3l1S/wn

I know about war parents; I'm 18 and my mums still kinda protective, ive met one person off the internet and we both had friends with us; we'd been talking quite a bit of time and we lived quite close to each other.

26 Name: 777-DemonicYoshi-888 : 2009-11-26 06:16 ID:Yjui2/Qq

I completely agree with GirlFromTheSeam. In fact, I'm 13 too. I think the best place to meet up would be a cafe or something.

Maybe on a high street?

I'd bring a couple of friends who are into fanfics and maybe my sister (17) or something.

I just think that if you're under the age of, say, 16, you should have someone you really trust, like a parent or someone responsible like that.

27 Name: naioka1992 : 2009-11-26 11:48 ID:X58no+8J

To Devine.Wonderland - just a word of caution, I've heard it's possible for people to use webcam images of other people. I'm not entirely sure, but my Dad's a police officer so I trust the imformation.

28 Name: OCF : 2009-11-26 12:21 ID:RVw/Lt+A

I think that meeting up is an awesome idea, but the fact remains that I would never actually go. I am only 13, and kind of freakishly shy, so this isn't really good for me. However, I do think it would be great for loads of people to meet up and talk.

29 Name: OCF : 2009-11-26 12:21 ID:RVw/Lt+A

I think that meeting up is an awesome idea, but the fact remains that I would never actually go. I am only 13, and kind of freakishly shy, so this isn't really good for me. However, I do think it would be great for loads of people to meet up and talk.

30 Name: Majin : 2009-11-26 20:47 ID:kBJR/zOQ

>> 28 naioka1992

About the webcam comment, it is possible for people to have their webcam show a video of someone else. Simply put, they do this by recording someone's webcam and playing that.

If you want to use a webcam to confirm someone's identity, then the best way is to get them to do something unusual as soon as you ask. Asking them to copy you and then gesturing with your hand will show it's not a pre-recorded video, if they do it too.

31 Name: Blindfirekiller : 2009-12-04 09:19 ID:rUWDwVm8

Age limit would be unfair, I'm 14 so It doesn't cut me, but if I was at an offline meeting I'd be keeping an eye on younger kids (not 8 year olds or anything) but most people tend to start writing at around eleven, and at this age their mind has loads of great ideas whizzing around that they can't decide if it's good or not they could ask other writers what thy think, 'cause there's so many people they'd get to ask people who like the genre

32 Name: Elkkun : 2009-12-04 11:57 ID:RLJETjSO

Yeah, Blindfirekiller's right.

I agree with 'bring a friend' also the 'not 1to1' annnnd the whole meet up in a croweded place. We could figure out the whereabouts (not like their full adress but just the town/city/village they live in.) then try and pinpoint the middle/almost middle. That way everyone can travel an equal distance.

For the people who say they're 13, bring a parent. Possibly by the time we all get there you're not going to be alone. We'll all have means of identification, so we can recognise each other.(that's on another thread somewhere...'Offline Meetings' I think...)

Of course most 18year olds and over will feel a little uncomfortable with, all of the younger ages. Well you'll just be the adults of the group more wiser than us.(unless you're a complete idiot like me XD and I'm 16.)

Also, make it a place which is easy to spot (for obvious reasons) and make sure it's crowded. Of course make sure the meetings during the day and doesn't last for too late. For anybody who's shy, don't worry once I overcome my shyness I'm like a chatterbox, seriously.

I wouldn't worry too much...As long as it's orginised properly as such and we all take our own safety into, our own hands theeen~ I think we're pretty fine.

HOW'S THAT FOR AN ESSAY!~ Rant over ^^

33 Name: Junki : 2009-12-16 09:31 ID:Tw/UN9R0

This whole thing is a grey area, there are alot of things that could go wrong but then it would also be brilliant if it could go ahead. I think there would have to be a trustworthy person from each area/city/town/villiage/etc to organise each meeting. A means of ID sent to email accounts of the people who have agreed to go so that they can be rcognised. A list of names that can be ticked off when people arrive at the group and then if someone has to go home they should tell the leader of the group so that their name can be crossed off or something so that way if someone is missing that hasn't been crossed off then an alert can be put out. Also, people who have left should send an email to the leader when they get home to show they are safe. There should be a way of getting in contact with someone that way if the leader hasn't recieved an email from someone they can call or text and check they ave actually got home. Expos and cons I agree are probably the best place to meet for gatherings like this

34 Name: Chaos : 2009-12-16 10:23 ID:LqsyXbvT

I've never been that comfortable with offline meetings, but if each person would bring their friends for safety and publicity for fanfics and fanart, then this could go fine. In fact, there should be Facebook gatherings or Myspace or even Youtube gatherings too. Those aren't offline, but people could make like a group online. But anyways, the offline thing has potential.

35 Name: Cassie : 2009-12-27 09:41 ID:3CQYaq81

I think the meetings are a good idea, however when arranging it, theres a lot of dangers. even with just taking a friend, doesn't necciserily keep you safe. And Yes webcams can show other videos. My best friend used to stream anime accross his webcam so I could watch from work. Maybe it would be best to start up an convention, obviously it would start small, but advertising, and such could help!

36 Name: Harrie-x : 2009-12-27 12:50 ID:t1Uyofgp

i think that the meetings are a great idea. and if we meet somewhere public we should be alright. as long as there are a lot of people around. and that there aren't just one or two people from fanfic going

37 Name: soulspaz : 2010-01-20 20:28 ID:57PScVYe

while i agree with most of what is being said, no 1 to 1's or giving private details and stuff, i think if your going to meet someone, you should let your family know where your going, time your going for, who your meeting. get a name for the person your meeting and record any details and give it to some one you trust so that if something goes wrong, there are people who know where you are and who your with. but the main thing is safety in numbers.

38 Name: fiona : 2010-01-21 13:27 ID:xueTCVbO

I am a parent who also writes fan fiction, and have a daughter who cosplays. As a parent I am more than willing to go with my daughter (to MCN for example). I am also thinking about organising a meet. Perhaps its worth asking other parents/trusted adults to help out?
Also my daughter's school has allowed them to start a lunchtime club for people interested in Manga/Anime/cosplay. I reckon it is worth approaching a teacher you like to see if you can do the same. Also good for your rep at school (well with the teachers anyway!)Hope this doesn't sound too boring - we parents really worry but still want you to enjoy yourselves. It's a delicate balance.

39 Name: AnneOfTheIsland : 2010-01-27 13:03 ID:zYpTkL2X

On another forum I'm on, where the demographic is age 13-20ish, the general thing they do is arrange to meet in a public place, ie defined area of busy train station, etc.
It's a book forum, so there's always meets at signings as well...

40 Name: Dying Kitty : 2010-02-13 14:41 ID:rtsW1wlg

I think safety at meetings is WAY important.

I don't think limiting the age range is going to be any good, because if someone wants to show up, they're going to show up. I would, however, suggest that anyone under the age of 15 bring a friend or family member with them. The friend doesnt have to be a writer or reader themselves, just someone who'd make things safer and more comfortable.

I've seen others say it previously aswell, but i'd automatically keep an eye on the younger people coming to the meetings anyway. Especially those that showed up alone.

Best way to stay safe is just use your common sence.
If somethings sounds even remotely suspicious, leave well alone.

Kitty.x.

41 Name: Fenella : 2010-02-19 16:04 ID:NuEgzcGl

I was wondering about this. I'm 15, and keen to talk to people who are interested in the same things as me.
Sadly none of my friends share this interest, and my parents work a lot, so they would not be able to accompany me.
Meaning I'd have to go on my own, which I totally don't mind if it's like a lot of people in a safe place or whatever.

42 Name: Elkkun : 2010-03-17 02:43 ID:BSRm1A/H

>>42 like Kitty said, your friend doesn't have to be interested to accompany you :) so I could bring one of my friends (even though NONE of them are actually into or write fanfiction) with me ^.^

43 Name: Helen : 2010-03-17 14:08 ID:RJc2E1ng

I agree that safty is a big deal when it comes to offline meetings.

I'm 14 and have a mother and father that are WAY overprotective...
and offline meetings would be difficult for me to explain who I'm going to meet.

So I stick with online meetings for now. But I'd love to meet up with some people who are around my age and in my area.

44 Name: Tristana : 2010-03-17 18:57 ID:9esE1mwg

Well, believe me, protective parents will be even when you are like... 22 (as myself). Like, I had my car and everything but when I had to go and see a friend, I had to give them both names and numbers and so on.

What I do is to ask people from the meet for their numbers and so on - my mom asks for it. Normally, they accept. I went to the Japan Expo in Paris without knowing anyone - except one person but I didn't know when I'll get to see him.

But Kitty is right - a girl did it for Nano's meets. (And her mother started one herself, if I remember correctly.)

Or maybe arrange something before the actual meet up - if parents are concerned, maybe you can arrange for finding people in the same situations so parents can meet and talk together? (I don't know if it makes sense... my brain is turning to jelly)

45 Name: In Need Of Slash Fix : 2010-03-19 07:58 ID:HiHRYKZ3

>>1 It's the same for me. When Yoshino In The Moonlight first suggested meetings on ff.net, I was wary b.c of all this internet safety stuff going on..

But it would be pretty cool =]

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