Reviews that don’t make sense. Do they drive anyone else mad? (182)

1 Name: juanafever : 2010-01-05 17:50 ID:D5qZCEX+

I understand the constructive criticism and people telling you that there is something you could do to improve (my spelling mostly, it sucks sometimes I honestly admit) they point out something in plot twist that you keep forgetting and so on. All that is nice and good. That way we all improve.
But how to react when you get a review stating very firmly that it hates the main ship of the story and the story itself is crap and can hardly be read and so on and so forth ... submitted on CHAPTER 27???? Honestly! Who reads this far just to give a useless feedback? The way I see it you don’t like =you don’t read. But the best was still to come. Guess what? Couple of weeks later... when will you update? .... The same person! The same ID! Probably forgot to logout before sending the review! I don’t think I ever laughed so hard in my life.
Anyone else had reviews that just don't make sense?

2 Name: ... : 2010-01-05 18:47 ID:Da4W6rA2

I did once have a review that said, '... Are you kidding?'

Why, yes. Yes, I was. That's why it was a PARODY, and the other reviewers had no trouble grasping this difficult concept.

That's the only one I can think of. I don't get annoyed by reviews, anyway. What DOES annoy me, as I think I've said before, is when people alert or favourite without reviewing. I've had five times as many alerts/favourites as reviews since New Year's. It irritates me for reasons I cannot easily articulate.

3 Name: LASER : 2010-01-05 19:12 ID:SWZdWHkN

>>2 I'm filled with a burning hatred every time I get an alert or a favourite without getting a review... lazy bastards

I haven't had any reviews like that but on one of my old old stories I had a review that just flat out didn't make sense, I can't remember all of it but it was something like

"I really like how you used contradictions in this to build a real sense of confusion in this story although I thought the way you developed your characters was a little cliché"

I read down to the end thinking 'well I don't really understand this but whatever' then the last line said "P.S I loved that fight scene at the end btw", there wasn't a fight scene

I just figured he had reviewed the wrong story so I sent him a message teliing him it was the wrong one. The weirdest thing was I got a message back from him saying "No this is the right one"


4 Name: Lay-A-Egg : 2010-01-06 04:36 ID:j9cAOIx5

>>3 xD Lol, wow, that's strange... generally, I get good reviews (by "good" I mean either positive, or just constructive criticism, which is fun), apart from the one review I got for a Twilight parody. It said:


It wasn't exactly constructive crit. It was somewhat related to the story, being as I made Bella an emo robot, but the review didn't actually mention anything about the story plot or my writing. Shame, I couldn't even reply to it because it was anonymous. =[

5 Name: Lupa Dracolis : 2010-01-06 05:29 ID:0Qwjl2rM

I'm currently writing a series of one-shots - each chapter is a different one-shot. They are not related to each other. Even though this is clearly written in the description of my story, I still get reviews from people saying things like 'but they were going out in the first one, why does she hate him now?' If you're gonna read a story, read the description first!

6 Name: juanafever : 2010-01-06 10:41 ID:D5qZCEX+

>>2 Oh, yes. I wish all those people that put my stories on chapter alert would write a review when the new chapter is up . That is why I love putting cliff-hangers where I can at the end. Let them stew. That way I get more reviews. =P

7 Name: eeyop1428 : 2010-01-06 11:18 ID:L8EeQThJ

>>1 lol maybe that person just wanted to see if your story would 'improve' for him/her if they read it longer, but sadly did not. But he/she still wants to read it :S

>>5 Also, when the story is labelled Complete but a few reviewers either add it to their story alert list or ask for an update or both -_o is quite annoying.

>>2 I understand how you feel, I got a few of those too. You work hard for a chapter but it's like it's not good enough to be reviewed. huh... quantity over quality it seems to be.

I remember one review that said a sentence was too long and over-descriptive. I sent a reply saying to point out which sentence so I could shorten it but never got a reply back. Gee, thanks. And then there are the reviews which I can't find a good reply to because they're just little outbursts of excitement or randomness. A bit like the one given by Lay-A-Egg above heh.

8 Name: Claire : 2010-01-06 13:03 ID:YPnpQWn6

I think one of the best reveiws i got was someoen replying on my first chapter titled "prolouge".

"I just loved how you explained how Voldemort suddenly has a sister in the first chapter. Oh wait a second, you didn't! Your plot is as unoriginal as bread and butter. Was this a flame, yes it was. Do I care, definitely not."

Um, how many writters do you know that give away the plot in the first chapter?
The thing that bugged me most was that it was signed "Critic" at least let me reply to you.

9 Name: Darksword512 : 2010-01-06 13:17 ID:E6IWSYYR

I got one that said (and this is copy and pasted):

"HA HA! PRETTY! HA! PRETTY STORY! (Raspy) I'TS Pretty 0.e"

HUH?! This was posted on my second to last chapter of a Sonic parody about the Tails Doll. I have no idea what it's about.

Someone explain? D:

10 Name: ... : 2010-01-06 13:28 ID:Da4W6rA2


Bread and butter? That's a pathetic flame... Flaming is an ART. That one gives flamers a bad name.

Although I'm curious- how did the 'flamer' know that Voldemort had a sister, if you didn't say so?

11 Name: Iaculus : 2010-01-06 13:56 ID:6IekZ0wZ

Presumably, it was the case that a sister was there for wholly unexplained reasons. You know how it is with ophidian pseudo-Nazis. Just pop up out of the ground like nobody's business.

12 Name: ... : 2010-01-06 14:22 ID:Da4W6rA2

Pesky things. Do the letters of 'this particular ophidian pseudo-Nazi' rearrange to make 'Mary Sue', I wonder?

Or just 'phail'?

13 Name: ... : 2010-01-06 14:23 ID:Da4W6rA2

Pesky things. Do the letters of 'this particular ophidian pseudo-Nazi' rearrange to make 'Mary Sue', I wonder? Or just 'phail'?

14 Name: ... : 2010-01-06 14:25 ID:Da4W6rA2

Pesky things. Do the letters of 'this particular ophidian pseudo-Nazi' rearrange to make 'Mary Sue', I wonder? Or just 'phail'?

15 Name: LongRider : 2010-01-06 14:46 ID:5pCnD/ur

Has anyone else noticed that a lot of the really critical people out there don't write much? I got flamed by someone who said "The story needs some re-working" I looked them up, they have not written ANYTHING!I wanted to return the favour (childish, I know)

P.s. Does anyone know how the names that are underlined and in blue link up to their writers page? I'd love to know how you do that.

16 Name: Iaculus : 2010-01-06 14:54 ID:6IekZ0wZ

If they have valid, well-articulated complaints, it doesn't really matter where they come from, right? Besides, just because they haven't put up much on doesn't mean they've never written anything anywhere else.

Re: the linky thing, you see that box marked 'Link' next to the one marked 'Name' when you're answering a thread? Put a link to your profile (or whatever else you want to link to) in there, and the board does the rest.

17 Name: ... : 2010-01-06 15:11 ID:Da4W6rA2

@15- that's akin to the argument that only people who have written a successful novel may criticise Stephenie Meyer. And then, of course, when Stephen King criticised her, the fangirls were up in arms, saying that 'he wouldn't be able to write a successful book if it bit him in the @$$'. Well, no. How many books are written AFTER they've taken a good chunk out of their author's posterior? But I digress...

18 Name: LongRider : 2010-01-06 16:08 ID:5pCnD/ur

>>16 You have a good point there, still I wanted to have alook at this persons work to see if they had it all figured out.

>>17 I never meant that only a professional writer could review, although I'd love to hear about it if the pro's were on the site.

19 Name: ... : 2010-01-06 16:12 ID:Da4W6rA2

Analogy... Too... Confusing... Must... Take... Literally...

20 Name: Marth : 2010-01-06 16:43 ID:D2+8l0ib

>>15 Plus, a lot of serious flamers have separate accounts for reviewing and writing. Cleaning up revenge flames is annoying and time-consuming, but deleting PMs is easy. :)

Getting back on-topic, I once got a review (on a now-deleted story) that said nothing but "Ties, I think." Bwuh?

21 Name: juanafever : 2010-01-06 16:47 ID:D5qZCEX+

The pro's I think has their own sites and most likely don't mess around with fa-fiction writters. But it would be nice if someone like that reviewed.
I don't personally care if people who review write themselves or not as long as they explain why they bitch. If really hard to fix it if you don't know what is wrong. I uplaoded my first chapter got a review a page long(seriously a page long) I was exited until I started reading. Read and deleted. It was a poem of how bad I am without telling what actually is wrong with the story. It's like telling us to guess. Or they just want the first timers to feel bad.

22 Name: ... : 2010-01-06 16:52 ID:Da4W6rA2

Analogy... Too... Confusing... Multiple... People... Must... Take... Literally...

23 Name: ... : 2010-01-06 16:54 ID:Da4W6rA2

@Marth- Sounds like a riddle to me. Solve it and you'll find the Holy Grail.

24 Name: LongRider : 2010-01-06 17:20 ID:5pCnD/ur

>>21 agree with you there, if reviewers have a complaint, give a little detail, that's all I'd ask. Vague is no fun. on the flipside, people who simply put "I like it" and don't tell you what they liked can be a little frustrating. What do they like the story? the chapter? the sentence? PICK SOMETHING!

25 Name: Marth : 2010-01-06 17:27 ID:D2+8l0ib

>>23 Isn't the Holy Grail, like, Audrey Tatou? Not that I have anything against her as an actress, but why would I want to solve a riddle to find Audrey Tatou?

>>21 How could you delete it? Man, if someone took the time to write a poem about how bad I suck, I would put it on my profile! Actually, whenever anyone publicly complains about me, I put it on my profile. But no one has recently. Sad times.

26 Name: ... : 2010-01-06 17:36 ID:Da4W6rA2

@Marth- Maybe Audrey Tatou wears some nice ties...

I'll fulfil your request!

Dear Marth, my dear, you suck,
You'll never read a book,
At the first word you look,
But then you're oh-so-stuck!

... There! Hope that helps.

27 Name: Marth : 2010-01-06 17:43 ID:D2+8l0ib

ABBA rhyme. Nice.

Thanks much!

28 Name: ... : 2010-01-06 17:48 ID:Da4W6rA2

Hehe- 'tis almost an AAAA rhyme... Almost. *sighs* One day, I shall know more words that end in 'uck'. Until then, I shall cry. Ceaselessly.

Use it wherever you wish!

29 Name: Elkkun : 2010-01-07 06:50 ID:FjHl5jRc

dot dot dot.

XD -hugs ... - It's hard to hug a person with no name :3 BUT PLEASE DON'T CRY...Or you'll make me cry.

I haven't really had a weird review, friend Aya gave me a review which said something like

-raises eyebrow-....Straaaange little boy.

30 Name: sdde : 2010-01-08 19:11 ID:9//utlzA

I'm now a little embarassed to say my weirdest review was someone trying to pitch ideas to get writers to use to use 'em. Now I feel so left out (and I'm not kidding)

31 Name: Chi : 2010-01-09 13:42 ID:/qSTPOLa

I think I've had a couple of reviews now saying thank you, and I'm like thank you for what? For writing the story? Or for something else? It confuses me -_-' And I don't think I've had any mean reviews yet :D

32 Name: Vic Taylor : 2010-01-09 13:48 ID:PwZB51Fu

@Chi - they're probably thanking you for taking the time to write the story and put it on the web so they can read it.

33 Name: BrownieMonster : 2010-01-09 17:12 ID:h4j7YxIr

I've been posting on for three years now i think and the number of weird reviews i've had is crazy, i don't mind getting reviews with constructive critisism but when people try to tell me that the place name of somewhere that i have made up is spelt wrong it's just a little annoying or when you get reviews telling you that your story is wrong, i'm sorry, it's a figment of my imagination, how can it be wrong?
@24, i know the feeling of reviews that just say 'i like it' and how annoyingly vague but at least they took the time to write something right?

34 Name: LongRider : 2010-01-09 20:40 ID:5pCnD/ur

>>33 Don't get me wrong, I love getting reviews, I love the reviewers who take the time to type me something. Anyone who says they don't is fibbing, but I would like to know what they like, so far most of my reviewers have been pretty specific, but every now and then I'll get the dreaded 3 word review (I like it) and I will obsess over it for days. Come on! they took the time to write it, which I love them for, but just one more word in the review (I liked the . . ) that's all I'd ask! For anyone who doesn't know me I decided to kick my 8 cups of coffee a day habit for my new years resolution, I'm still twitchy at the moment.

35 Name: Marth : 2010-01-09 20:59 ID:D2+8l0ib

My strategy when faces with three-word ices (an ice is a nonconstructive positive review like a flame is a nonconstructive negative review) is to say, "This reviewer is too stupid to formulate a thoughtful positive opinion." That's probably not true, but it stops me from obsessive over what s/he meant with hir lazy review. Because if someone is (or if I at least imagine s/he is) too stupid to give a good review, that person is not my target audience and I don't have to give a crap what s/he thinks.

36 Name: Vic Taylor : 2010-01-09 21:09 ID:PwZB51Fu

To be fair, people who leave reviews saying "I really like this story. Update soon!' took the time to read the story and review it.

Doesn't it give you the same feeling as any other review would give you, to know that someone has read your fic and liked it enough to comment on it?

37 Name: LongRider : 2010-01-09 21:49 ID:5pCnD/ur

>>36 yes. But that isn't a 3 word review, that's an "interested so far, haven't made up my mind yet" comment. I usually get more from those people further down the line.

>>35 Ices has just been added to my fanfic vocabulary. And yes after a while I'll let it go, but my brain likes to keep reminding me for the first few days.

38 Name: Vic Taylor : 2010-01-09 22:44 ID:PwZB51Fu

@LongRider - Okay then. This as a review: 'please update soon' has 3 words, and still tells the author that the reviewer took the time and effort to read and review their story, and they obviously enjoyed it.

39 Name: Marth : 2010-01-09 23:12 ID:D2+8l0ib

>>36 No, they absolutely do not. Ices give me approximately the same satisfaction of seeing that someone has favorited a story but not bothered to review at all--that is, they provoke the reaction I mentioned in my previous comment. I don't want reviews to boost my ego; I want them to help me become a better writer by telling me what I'm doing well and what I'm failing at. Ices are useless fluff.

40 Name: Vic Taylor : 2010-01-10 01:27 ID:PwZB51Fu

@Marth - Okay, that's your opinion. My opinion is that if someone favourites my story, generally they'll review when I've posted a few more chapters.

It could be that the person who's favourite my story, but hasn't reviewed, couldn't find anything to say about one chapter, so they wait for the next.

41 Name: Emgem2000 : 2010-01-10 03:44 ID:HLvhsFPf

-Looks innocent-
I guess I'm one of the 'I like it, update soon' reviewers.
I guess I do it sometimes when I don't have anything specific to say, but want the author to know that someone likes it and is reading it. Does that make sense?

42 Name: Lupa Dracolis : 2010-01-10 03:55 ID:idQlww4C

I do a variety. If I see something an author could do to improve I'll tell them, but if not then it's just good manners to say 'I liked this chapter, well done' or 'keep up the good work'.

43 Name: BrownieMonster : 2010-01-10 05:40 ID:h4j7YxIr

@40, i generally get a lot of people favouriting my story that then don't review later so i guess it must be that there are some people out there that will review and some that won't, having someone favourite a story kind of does say i like this though and so really it's quite similar to an ice, however it does get a little annoying when you sit looking at a story going, okay, i have thirty people currently on the favourites list but only two of them have reviewed
I do admit, sometimes i occasionally do only give reviews saying 'i like it, update soon' but i always try to then put a review on the next chapter thats more specific, i dunno, i tend to review based on how i'm feeling at the time and almost always, if i'm procrastinating on my english homework, i'll leave a detailed review as it makes me feel as though i'm doing at least something englsih related...

44 Name: LongRider : 2010-01-10 06:57 ID:pwW3Uukd

Just realized that if any of my reviewers read this I'm likely to get spammed with 2000 word reviews just to shut me up, Karma is a bitch when she wants to be.

45 Name: Tenshi-chan : 2010-01-10 11:23 ID:qa+NWb4R

I've recieved one negative review, however it wasn't exactly negative as the person did say what they didn't like and then gave me advice to improve it. So i'm not that bothered about it.

I do see reviews sometimes, one such story that my friend writes is very popular and she has one constant hater who flames every chapter she does. As i've said before 'if you hate it so much, why continue reading?'

As they say, for every fifty people who like your story, there will always be one hater. (Or so i've heard)

46 Name: MissMimi87 : 2010-01-14 05:28 ID:fCwODaAk

I have soo many people who put my stories on alerts or favourite, but I have so few reviews in comparison. I really like getting reviews because it makes me feel appreciated. And I don't think I've ever had a negative review, i've had some constructive criticisms at time but for the most part I get 'great chapter' 'loving it so far' 'update soon please' so I can't really complain. Although every once in a while i kinda hope they'll go into more detail but for the most part I'm just so happy someone read my story and gave me a review I don't mind how short or long it is.

47 Name: Madness : 2010-01-14 08:22 ID:lJgkP6dB

I got a weird one today that said 'Yeah he sure did freeze lol that was so lame' It took me ten minutes to realise that she was talking about the song I had wrote down that he had been listening to and the fact that the first part of her review was lame. If it was so lame why write it- we all have a delete button your keyboard right? WEIRD! I liked it though because its an old story that I wrote like 2 years ago so I'm glad the story is still going strong :D

48 Name: Elkkun : 2010-01-18 05:00 ID:R5YlVRMK

>>44 you have no idea how much you made me laugh when I read that. I might read one of your stories and try and do a 2000 word review just to annoy the hell outta you XD.

Nah I kid, I kid.

I still stand with my weird review of my friend Aya saying something like "LOL ROFLCOPTER W00T!"...something like that ._.'

49 Name: DragonFriend95 : 2010-01-19 17:58 ID:vkpuLkCG

My review wasn't really BAD, just..confusing:

'Good story line. But what happens next? Why don't you finish this story? Intead, you go on to a different one, "The Mole." Both are ended, not in cliff-hangers, but just "the end." I can't believe you made "Super Dave" the villian in that story.'

What was strange was that I was updating every three days or so and had made that clear and that I hadn't ended them, then when I HAD updated they reviewed again saying pretty much the same thing! Course, when I e-mailed them explaining this they never replied :S

50 Name: Elkkun : 2010-01-21 08:27 ID:FjHl5jRc

>>49 why don't you put it on your next chapter in an A/N asking them instead...Maybe they'll reply differently...if they don't just delete their reviews ._.' or ignore them.

51 Name: LongRider : 2010-01-22 19:40 ID:v2OIztSr

>>48 GO NUTS! if someone ever did leave me a 2000 word review, i think one of two things would happen, 1) if I liked it I'd start bouncing ideas off them for potential stories 2) I'd read everything they had written so i could return the favor, sending them a review bomb for every single story. Review Bomb :just made up that expression! XD well, I like it. It's 3am where i am, I'm not firing on all cylinders.

52 Name: Elkkun : 2010-01-23 05:26 ID:FjHl5jRc

>>49 lol I doubt I could unless I knew about the fandom ;P

Oh well, I'll check out your profile and see if I do XD -checking- annnd~ Nope, I don't so...Oh well :D

A review bomb? :P

53 Name: LongRider : 2010-01-23 09:24 ID:v2OIztSr

>>52 yes a review bomb. I stand by it. you get an email saying you have a review, you click on the link and it explodes all over your screen. a review bomb ;-p

54 Name: Angel015 : 2010-01-24 17:24 ID:gozv+bff

Three word review (I like it) are definately the worst. Usually I'll get a email pop up saying I have a review. I get excited, hoping for constructive critisism. 'I like it' Damn you, you lazy person!

Another one that gets me is all the stupid questions. 'Does....happen? What happens to...? Is ... ever going to...?' Wait for the update, read it, and then find out! Don't ask me you silly person. Though thank you for taking the time to review.
I'll admit though I do like being as vague as possible until the last moment in my stories ^^

Tehe! Review Bomb, I want one!

55 Name: LongRider : 2010-01-24 17:54 ID:v2OIztSr

I've just been review bombed by so I'll be returning the favor just as soon as I get my coursework in (sigh! one essay at a time). to BrownieMonster: Don't worry, I will get you back! In the mean time I invite everyone who reads this post to find this little smartypants, AND PILE ON! >>54 Angel1015: Patience . . . Patience, You're next. ;-p

56 Name: LongRider : 2010-01-24 17:58 ID:v2OIztSr

>>55 Be nice people, I liked my review bomb XD

57 Name: Vic Taylor : 2010-01-25 07:36 ID:PwZB51Fu

Just got a review saying my story was really good. The person also asked whether it would be possible for me to translate it into Russian and send it to her.

Great, I thought. No problem. Oh... it was an anonymous review.

bangs head against desk

58 Name: セーラーエリス : 2010-01-25 09:32 ID:4h+HRQQQ

wanna see a real fangirl(s) moment??
here Wao and her fangirls, I would scream too if I was there

59 Name: セーラーエリス : 2010-01-25 09:38 ID:4h+HRQQQ

>>58 damn wrong Thread

60 Name: BrownieMonster : 2010-01-25 14:13 ID:QF+DKLiu

i just couldn't resist XD

61 Name: Francys Pai : 2010-01-25 16:38 ID:ivjKi2+T

I've recently had this on one of my fics, It's rather frustrating because I can barely make out what the hell they're saying about 90% of the time and I'm pretty sure it works the other way. I mention at the start of my fic something about how I perceive (this being a key word) characters ages and then they start babbling about what's cannon (eventhough one of said peoples ages is unconfirmed in actual cannon) and bringing two other characters who aren't even mentioned into it.
Made me want to bang my head into a brick wall.

62 Name: ... : 2010-01-25 16:54 ID:Da4W6rA2

I suggest firing yourself at said wall from that cannon you mentioned.

63 Name: Lupa Dracolis : 2010-01-26 00:43 ID:FT5nPRHo

Or fire the reviewer at the wall with your cannon

64 Name: Francys Pai : 2010-01-26 06:20 ID:VJYLqEu6

@ ...
How about you actually read what kind of cannon I'm on about before you open your mouth.

@ Lupa:
I like your idea, I'd love to try it.

65 Name: Elkkun : 2010-01-26 08:55 ID:FjHl5jRc

>>64 I think they meant to make a pun out of that? XD I IS a good joke if you think about it :P

@Lupa, I wish I could do that to many people...

66 Name: Lupa Dracolis : 2010-01-26 08:57 ID:brSvj8nm

Tony Blair? BOOM!
Gordon Brown? BOOM!
Woman who does M&S adverts? BOOM!

67 Name: Iaculus : 2010-01-26 09:10 ID:tMpYuVGH

For the record, the stuff to do with portrayal in the original text is called 'canon'. Two Ns, not three.

68 Name: Francys Pai : 2010-01-26 09:39 ID:Io0YMDBM

I'm fully aware that it's two, I'm unfortunately in the habit of writing 3 since my damned text program keeps 'correcting' me when I use just the one glares at it

69 Name: Iaculus : 2010-01-26 09:52 ID:tMpYuVGH

Don't have an 'add to dictionary' button?

70 Name: ... : 2010-01-26 10:16 ID:Da4W6rA2

? You said you wished to bang your head on a brick wall; I offered a method.

Also, which program might this be? And why would a erroneous autocorrect function affect the way you type a word?

71 Name: Francys Pai : 2010-01-26 11:01 ID:Io0YMDBM

A really really really old crappy textedit which is for the mac because I'm too lazy to get anything else.

Anyway, why exactly are people jumping on my case about 1 spelling error? Sheesh, I came on here to discuss fic, not get yelled at for errors.

72 Name: Iaculus : 2010-01-26 11:06 ID:tMpYuVGH

Less jumping, more grabbing for a cheap pun.

Now, where's us other ficcers' free reviewer cannons? I'm waaaiting...

73 Name: Francys Pai : 2010-01-26 11:11 ID:Io0YMDBM

Yes yes I get it that it was a pun, but I'm not being funny but puns when they are drawn out get rather dull. So, next topic please.

74 Name: ... : 2010-01-26 11:49 ID:Da4W6rA2

And who is the one drawing it out, hmm? Also, since when has '09 been 'really really really old'? And you didn't answer my question...

I rarely get reviews that make no sense. I HAVE had marriage proposals, but I don't think they were serious. I hope.

75 Name: Francys Pai : 2010-01-26 12:00 ID:Io0YMDBM

Okay now you've lost me, Marriage proposals and reviews have what in common?
I think you've got the wrong topic there, mate.

76 Name: ... : 2010-01-26 12:05 ID:Da4W6rA2

>>75 Nope, I get reviews in which I am proposed to. Interesting evasion tactics, if only because of the obvious execution that rather defeats the purpose.

77 Name: Francys Pai : 2010-01-26 12:06 ID:Io0YMDBM

Uhm, how about writing that in English that is easy to understand rather than trying to look intelligent and making a sentence that makes little sense?

78 Name: ... : 2010-01-26 12:15 ID:Da4W6rA2


... Actually, no. That's too easy. The barrel would attach itself to the other barrel, and the fish would not appreciate it.

79 Name: Elkkun : 2010-01-26 12:23 ID:FjHl5jRc

>>77 That made sense to me O_o ...
They got reviews in which people proposed to them in.

Hey Francys. Will you marry me? XD

80 Name: Francys Pai : 2010-01-26 12:59 ID:Io0YMDBM

It's probably because I'm not finding them funny that I'm not getting them.

81 Name: ... : 2010-01-26 13:03 ID:Da4W6rA2

>>80 That's a shame.

82 Name: Francys Pai : 2010-01-26 13:06 ID:Io0YMDBM

No, it just means you're immature and rude.

83 Name: Iaculus : 2010-01-26 13:22 ID:tMpYuVGH

FYI, the mature way to deal with a line of conversation you're not interested in is to pay it no heed, rather than going 'u suk' to the instigators. 'I think it's boring and unfunny, so you should stop doing it' doesn't carry much water on a public forum.

I'm seeing mud-slinging on both sides here.

84 Name: Vic Taylor : 2010-01-26 13:28 ID:PwZB51Fu

Mud fight!

... wait. Are we meant to encourage this?

Right! Bad children.


85 Name: Iaculus : 2010-01-26 13:33 ID:tMpYuVGH

Hey, never let it be said that I have an objection to immature mud-fights. Thois is why all posters on this board who are not me are silly doo-doo-heads.

If you do, though, it's probably best not to participate.

86 Name: ... : 2010-01-26 13:35 ID:Da4W6rA2

>>82 Projecting onto an innocuous comment is never a good sign. While I am, indeed, immature and rude, only the immaturity has surfaced on this thread, in that I continue to feign ignorance and lay traps. I'm still petty enough to reply to peculiar aggression.

Tell you what: if you want to continue this pointless charade, then fine, I'll humour you. I find it physically impossible to get worked up at such a thing, and the thread is suffering. Denver didn't happen, okay.

The thing I find most peculiar is a review of a fic- by the author.

87 Name: Vic Taylor : 2010-01-26 13:41 ID:PwZB51Fu

Let's all calm down and stop goading each with large words. We're all adults (or almost adults) and it doesn't matter how loudly we scream and shout. :)

Got a PM with a review in it just now. The review in itself was fine. I was just clueless about why the reviewer didn't simply review the story, instead of sending me a PM.

88 Name: Iaculus : 2010-01-26 13:51 ID:tMpYuVGH

That extra-personal touch?

89 Name: Francys Pai : 2010-01-26 13:58 ID:Io0YMDBM

86> If that's in reference to me. I don't know if you knew this (And obviously you dont otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned it), but people who leave anonymous reviews..I kinda can't go and message them when they ask me a question. Because they don't have an inbox, so the only way for them to read it, much to my dismay because I am sick to death of having to do it, is go through my own reviews.

90 Name: Francys Pai : 2010-01-26 14:00 ID:Io0YMDBM

Oh and another thing. "I'm still petty enough to reply to peculiar aggression" along with 'laying traps' It makes you a troll then.
Very good. And who's getting aggressive here? I'm currently laughing.

91 Name: Iaculus : 2010-01-26 14:11 ID:tMpYuVGH

Why does everyone assume that amusement precludes aggression?

Remember, kiddies, you can't spell 'slaughter' without 'laughter'...

92 Name: ... : 2010-01-26 14:28 ID:Da4W6rA2

>>89- That's in reference to everyone who does it. It's what an A/N is for.

>>90 Yes, that makes sense. If I may refresh thy memory:

Me: Jokey wordplay

Others: giggle

You: Shut your mouth.

That constitutes aggression in my book. Replying to that does not make me a troll. If you're then going to make things up to save face, don't be shocked if someone who you've just attacked points it out. 'Laying traps' refers to posting ambiguous statements, so that your aggression is clearly seen to be unfounded, and also to my asking questions that I already know the answer to, to make you dig yourself deeper into a hole. It amuses me.

@Iaculus- Heh.

@Vic- that's happened to me via email...

93 Name: Iaculus : 2010-01-26 14:37 ID:tMpYuVGH

Well, to be fair, you were sort of trying to get a further rise out of Francys, rather than cooling the situation down.

Regardless of justification, that qualifies as trolling, as do most things intended to provoke an emotional response rather than logical argument.

Just from a literal, pedantic perspective, you understand.

94 Name: ... : 2010-01-26 15:01 ID:Da4W6rA2

@Iaculus- No, actually, not in my first reply to the aggressive post. The first half was explanation, while the second was to prove a suspicion to myself. I would say that Post 78 was the only troll post, but nobody replied to it anyway. As it is, though, I do not consider myself a troll in this circumstance. Elsewhere on the board, yes, but here the inflammatory nature of the posts was more of a side-effect. Every time I tried to steer things back on topic, they were derailed again. And again. And again.

Has anyone an odd review to report, then?

95 Name: Lupa Dracolis : 2010-01-26 15:39 ID:WQIyQ9Bm

"Write the next chapter soon! This is very, very, very,very,v ery god"

Now, I quite liked the chapter but I didn't think it was deity-worthy!

96 Name: Iaculus : 2010-01-26 15:53 ID:tMpYuVGH

Ah, but what if the reviewer's a maltheist?

97 Name: LongRider : 2010-01-26 17:34 ID:ONQvW6Vo

I had one like that, "please update soon, it's god." I'm just going to assume it was a spelling mistake, rather than a religious experience.

98 Name: Lupa Dracolis : 2010-01-27 00:33 ID:WQIyQ9Bm

yeah, but it's amusing to state otherwise

99 Name: Elkkun : 2010-01-27 08:02 ID:R5YlVRMK

>>93 "rather than cooling the situation down." Does that mean we can have water fights too? Might wash off the mud.

Can we forgive and forget now? :D And get back on topic :3

100 Name: LongRider : 2010-01-27 08:09 ID:ONQvW6Vo

>>97 unless the review was signed by god? Is god reading my fics? excuse me while i run around my room freaking out.

101 Name: Lupa Dracolis : 2010-01-27 09:19 ID:ZxtUv2f9

Ah, but God would sign his name with a capital. Maybe it's just a member of some other pantheon, like the Greeks. They're gods, so they could just be leting you know that they are one. My bet is on Apollo.

102 Name: chop sue : 2010-01-27 11:24 ID:6QPNaPD5

Maybe it's God being modest in his godly way?

103 Name: Lupa Dracolis : 2010-01-27 11:28 ID:ZxtUv2f9

So to be modest, he uses a small 'g'? ...okay then...

104 Name: Iaculus : 2010-01-27 11:32 ID:YjJOEygm

maybe he's taking his cue from e. e. cummings?

105 Name: Lupa Dracolis : 2010-01-27 11:37 ID:ZxtUv2f9

It's possible, or it could be the other way around. Maybe it's like his alter-ego?

106 Name: LongRider : 2010-01-27 12:58 ID:ONQvW6Vo

>>105 you mean I'm being bugged by God! but he slipped up with his disguise. Good thing I'm an atheist or I'd be having a serious crisis right about now about the so-called "all-knowing with a plan" fella upstairs

107 Name: chop sue : 2010-01-27 13:07 ID:6QPNaPD5

>>105, He puts on cosmic glasses, and becomes the mild-mannered god?

108 Name: LongRider : 2010-01-27 13:27 ID:ONQvW6Vo

>>107 wonder if he's a Mac or Pc?

109 Name: chop sue : 2010-01-27 13:40 ID:6QPNaPD5

PC. Mac's too swish for his alter-ego

110 Name: LongRider : 2010-01-27 13:55 ID:ONQvW6Vo

>>109 tough break XD. explains the funky weather lately, poor guy's stuck with the blue screen of doom.

111 Name: Elkkun : 2010-01-27 14:00 ID:FjHl5jRc

>>110 we don't have to reset time to let him lost the blue screen do we? I don't fancy re-doing 16 years. :|

112 Name: LongRider : 2010-01-27 14:07 ID:ONQvW6Vo

>>111 Go through puberty twice? oh God NO! (terrible pun, I know)

113 Name: Lupa Dracolis : 2010-01-27 14:20 ID:7X4cXlr9

>>107 And that little flicky bit of hair he has when he's God is all combed back out of the, we're off topic.

114 Name: LongRider : 2010-01-27 14:30 ID:ONQvW6Vo

>>113 no we're not, we're discussing a reviewer, he's a mild-mannered guy who has a PC, has a god complex. XD

115 Name: LongRider : 2010-01-27 14:31 ID:ONQvW6Vo

>>114 also in dire need of some tech support

116 Name: Hearmelaugh : 2010-01-27 14:33 ID:6QPNaPD5

>>113 and possibly hair gel, to keep that flicky bit down and the mild manner up?

117 Name: LongRider : 2010-01-27 14:41 ID:ONQvW6Vo

>>116 Hair gel can keep mild manner up?

118 Name: Hearmelaugh : 2010-01-27 14:42 ID:6QPNaPD5

Flippy hair might be what gives Him His powers, y/y?

119 Name: LongRider : 2010-01-27 16:55 ID:ONQvW6Vo

explains why people with too much hair gel seem like they're sedated half the time ;-p

120 Name: LongRider : 2010-01-27 17:26 ID:ONQvW6Vo

>>119 what the hell am i typing here? anyway wierd reviews, that's what we're here to talk about. here's one.


Write more.

121 Name: chop sue : 2010-01-27 17:45 ID:6QPNaPD5

I once had someone review the final chapter of an epic story I wrote, saying she'd skipped the entire chapter to go straight to the ending, and that she hated it. She then PM-ed me to say sorry for being rash. Then she PM-ed me again to tell me she finally read the whole thing, and she now understood why I ended it that way, but she still didn't like it much.

And a couple of weeks ago (this story was completed early last year) she left a new review, saying it was good, but she still didn't like it. Except she sortof did.


122 Name: LongRider : 2010-01-27 17:50 ID:ONQvW6Vo

>>121 multiple personality maybe?

123 Name: ... : 2010-01-28 00:35 ID:Da4W6rA2

Was it Mom_Calling? If so, it's a regular occurence- I know about ten people who've received that kind of review...

124 Name: Lupa Dracolis : 2010-01-28 00:37 ID:7X4cXlr9

>>120 You've been reviewed by the Joker! Run for the hills, he's got an uzi!

125 Name: Iaculus : 2010-01-28 05:46 ID:SIsaVTYS

>>23 And the username perfectly explains the schizophrenic reviews, too.

126 Name: Elkkun : 2010-01-28 12:09 ID:FjHl5jRc

>>125 it does?

>>121 That's a....weird thing if it happened to me I'd probably e-mail back saying something like 'WHY THE HELL DID YOU SKIP THE WHOLE STORY TO THE ENDING TO TELL ME IT'S CRAP!?' ._.'

127 Name: Iaculus : 2010-01-28 12:14 ID:SIsaVTYS

Yep. Clearly, half their reviews were their mom calling.

128 Name: chop sue : 2010-01-28 13:19 ID:6QPNaPD5

Oh, no, it wasn't Mom_calling, just a girl who's been pretty sane about my other stories.

>>126 I was very, very confused when I received the first review. And I was even more confused when I got that second review XD

Odd people are odd.

129 Name: Iaculus : 2010-01-28 13:34 ID:SIsaVTYS

>>128 Oh? Then perhaps her temporary insanity has a more sinister explanation. Have you noticed any other peculiar reviews for this fic? Is Carcosa a prominent location in it? Not to put too fine a point on it, do all the characters wear masks?

130 Name: chop sue : 2010-01-28 13:39 ID:6QPNaPD5

My collection of ALL-TIME WEIRD REVIEWS OF ULTIMATE WEIRDNESS are mostly made up from the ones that this particular story received. Wasn't set in good ol' Carcosa (ought've bought a postcard), but one of the lead males does have an unusual fondness for pudding. If that helps.

131 Name: Iaculus : 2010-01-28 13:41 ID:SIsaVTYS

Yellow pudding? From the ragged stalls on the lakeside of Hali?

132 Name: chop sue : 2010-01-28 13:44 ID:6QPNaPD5

Caramel pudding. The mystery thickens.

133 Name: Iaculus : 2010-01-28 13:52 ID:SIsaVTYS

Well... it's sort of yellow...

134 Name: chop sue : 2010-01-31 05:39 ID:6QPNaPD5

New one. It's not really helpful is it?

'weird ending...'

And that's it. Like. What.

135 Name: Iaculus : 2010-01-31 05:56 ID:4TmY6Pld

Well, how weird was the ending?

I mean, if we're talking End of Evangelion-standard, there's good odds that it just fried their brain beyond the capacity to capitalise or form proper sentences. It's a documented phenomenon.

136 Name: Elkkun : 2010-02-01 04:39 ID:R5YlVRMK

>>132 was I the only one who noticed that REALLY BAD PUN?

Or am I just good at seeing them even then theyre not supposed to be noticed or...Just not there?

>>135 Big.Words.Confuse.Me. :3

137 Name: chop sue : 2010-02-01 09:59 ID:6QPNaPD5

>>136 Evidently it wasn't bad enough if you were the only one who noticed it XD

>>135 And it wasn't weird at all! It was perfectly respectable! Like good china and silver cutlery! I'm much too simple a person to induce complexity in the thoughts of other people.

138 Name: Lupa Dracolis : 2010-02-01 10:05 ID:WOWM12I4

>>136 You're not alone; I saw the pun too. It's not that bad...

139 Name: Elkkun : 2010-02-02 02:37 ID:R5YlVRMK

Glad I'm not the only one who noticed it...

140 Name: Lupa Dracolis : 2010-02-03 00:36 ID:45lT0PtZ

"I LOVE SETH! I LOVE SETH! GOD I LOVE SETH! THANKS U SO MUCH FOR PUTTINGSETH IN THIS AWESOME STORY! I really think this story will be pretty kwel,please update son!"

...Okay then. Please note that this 'AWESOME STORY!' consists only of a prologue.

141 Name: セーラーエリスは刀の女ですか。 : 2010-02-03 00:59 ID:OtQztTTg

>>140 gahahhhihihiihi
lol lol lol.
I love the enthusiasm of some readers/reviewers they are so cute :D

142 Name: Lupa Dracolis : 2010-02-03 09:13 ID:45lT0PtZ

It's just a prologue! One that is 450 words long! (yes, I write short prologues)

143 Name: セーラーエリスは刀の女ですか。 : 2010-02-03 09:31 ID:7/x+3xBc

>>142 it is still cute and funny :D

144 Name: Lupa Dracolis : 2010-02-03 12:20 ID:45lT0PtZ

But odd and slightly disturbing also.

145 Name: Elkkun : 2010-02-04 12:15 ID:FjHl5jRc

But still funny XD I would be on the floor laughing my head off at it!

Literally. :D

146 Name: Francys Pai : 2010-02-08 23:30 ID:ivjKi2+T

Not really one that makes no sense, but I got one today going "I'm waiting for chapter 4."
I posted chapter 3 like what...2 weeks ago. Anyone ever mentioned to this person that patience is a virtue?

147 Name: RayRay : 2010-02-09 01:05 ID:GByqi8PA

I got a review once that just confused the hell out of me, but looking at my stories now, I seriously can't find it...which is just confusing me.

Oh well. I just remember she was making no sense, and she had to PM me telling me what she meant haha.

148 Name: Darksword512 : 2010-02-09 11:26 ID:E6IWSYYR

When I finished my first ever story that had 14 chapters, I got a review a week later on chapter 1 saying "I think this is a brilliant beginning! Will chapter 2 be out soon?!" I sent a message back saying "Yeah. Along with 12 other chapters, it's already up."



149 Name: sharingansupergirl : 2010-02-10 09:46 ID:OA3PI4l+

@148 How did you manage that- oh yeah... :P jokes.

I tend to read a story to the amount of chapters they've uploaded. If I'm really not fond of it I probably won't read it all the way to chap 22, but sometimes I think I should give it a chance and that they will get better. I live in hope :) and try not to be too pissed when I realize I wasted my time.

150 Name: sharingansupergirl : 2010-02-10 10:04 ID:OA3PI4l+

Oh that note, I've not actually reviewed a story I didn't like just on story alone. I meant things like grammatical errors, or the odd things they could amend. I tend to just say where they could improve, and don't do those horrible bitchy things of reading every chapter to complain. Nope, just construct. :)

151 Name: Elkkun : 2010-02-14 11:24 ID:dnwDLSYu

>>148 I wanna see that review XD.

>>150 sometimes there's a story where barely anything's wrong, and then you can be like "Okay, so. How do I review this?"
:x I hate situations like that.

152 Name: Vic Taylor : 2010-03-04 04:28 ID:PwZB51Fu

Just had this review:

"damn, now you just HAD TO write Jack/Jenny :)"

Only... I didn't. She comes into the scene and takes ONE breath. <confused>

153 Name: Iaculus : 2010-03-04 06:35 ID:zZ3GS3Mb

>>152 It's Jack Harkness. If she inhales in his presence, she's pregnant.

On this, writers and fans agree.

154 Name: Vic Taylor : 2010-03-04 06:40 ID:PwZB51Fu

@Iaculus - Does it make any difference if he's dead at the time? XD

155 Name: Iaculus : 2010-03-04 06:43 ID:zZ3GS3Mb

>>154 <i>Hell</i>, no.

156 Name: Elkkun : 2010-03-04 11:55 ID:dnwDLSYu

>>155 sooo...even if he's DEAD....She can still get pregnant? O_o...

157 Name: Vic Taylor : 2010-03-04 12:41 ID:PwZB51Fu

@Elkkun - You know we're joking, right...?

158 Name: Elkkun : 2010-03-04 13:35 ID:dnwDLSYu

Of course I know you're joking ^_^ I'm going to do the obvious thing and turn into a kitten...Then I am going to hide in a box and cry.
-does that-

159 Name: Vic Taylor : 2010-03-04 14:54 ID:PwZB51Fu

Sorry. XD

160 Name: Elkkun : 2010-03-07 14:31 ID:dnwDLSYu

Eh It's OK :P.

161 Name: StormRaven333 : 2010-03-08 02:41 ID:MQwBynt0

I've had a lame review before. The person proceded to tell me that I don't know the first thing about formulating plots and my writing was bad, Needed therapy to get out of my little fantacy world, Thinks I send reviews to myself from alternate accounts and that I need to get a grip on reality, and quote: "I don't care if it is fanfiction."

He/she didn't even have the guts to be signed in to send it!

I thought to myself; "What the hell?" and almost died laughing.

There's always SOMEONE to ruin it for everyone huh?

162 Name: Elkkun : 2010-03-08 04:09 ID:R5YlVRMK

LOL they never even had the decency to SIGN the REVIEW
Oh my God I think I'm dying of laughter X'D

You should make a little note in another chapter saying
"Thanks for not having the balls to sign your review."

163 Name: Vic Taylor : 2010-03-16 22:35 ID:PwZB51Fu

Just got this review for a chapter of just over 1000 words:

"nothing much happened in this chapter."

Well, thanks for that, genious!

164 Name: RayRay : 2010-03-17 00:42 ID:CCWdpd2v

Well that can be a matter of opinion, sometimes writers do waffle on for an inordinate amount of time and never get anywhere...

but that review does leave a lot to be desired.


165 Name: Vic Taylor : 2010-03-17 12:40 ID:PwZB51Fu

Another of her reviews:




All I can think is 'oh dear'. I PMed her, asking her quite politely to actually leave reviews with at least a single well-formed sentence in future. She came back with a hugely sarcastic reply. O_o

166 Name: sharingansupergirl : 2010-03-17 13:11 ID:eASltc5W

@165 (gasp!!) You can't tell someone to leave at least a single well formed sentences in the future! What were you thinking?

I always PM when I don't understand a review, but I always wonder if the answer is going to be a strongly worded one...

What was the reply, if you don't mind me asking?

167 Name: callmebaka : 2010-03-17 13:46 ID:helafTTl

I once got a review calling me a misoginistic troll WTF I'm a girl for crying out loud.

168 Name: Vic Taylor : 2010-03-17 15:04 ID:PwZB51Fu

@sharingansupergirl - It was this:

"Yes, I had a feeling leaving a one sentence complaint about the shortness was going to bite in the butt 3


here is my CC:

rar, filler. Or not. W/e. I think you are a lovely writer and that even your fillers are nice. Really. Because I am only now realizing who the hell it is I'm talking to and don't want to sound like an ass anymore because your stories are too lovely 3
Now I'm confusing myself and feel bad for being an ass.
Gah ]8"

I think it's rather lame...

169 Name: moonphase : 2010-03-17 15:05 ID:D3by96XU

you can can be a misogynist even if you're female. Its a hatred of women.

170 Name: moonphase : 2010-03-17 15:08 ID:D3by96XU


I hardly understood what she or he was saying in that reply...

171 Name: Vic Taylor : 2010-03-17 15:17 ID:PwZB51Fu

@moonphase - I had a bit of trouble. XD

I was just pissed off at this point, so my reply:

"I believe you are confused, yes. I destinctly said I didn't want praises, I wanted CC. That is not CC. That is someone trying to be clever and failing."

Her reply:

"yup! 8D
and now I'm all embarrassed at my fail so I'm just going to stop replying and keep my mouth shut."


172 Name: moonphase : 2010-03-17 16:05 ID:D3by96XU

hm, odd...well at least he or she were ashamed and not being arrogant about it.

173 Name: Vic Taylor : 2010-03-17 16:31 ID:PwZB51Fu

They weren't ashamed. That was so obviously sarcasm it's not even funny.

174 Name: RayRay : 2010-03-17 18:20 ID:V3vx5TQ3

Doesn't come across as sarcasm, genuinely sounds like they're trying to avoid something, so I really hope you just left it there. There isn't a point in getting into a review war with someone you know.

My friend had a case where someone read what she had completed of the fic, and then told her that it was OOC, that she didn't like the fact that it wasn't set in the same thing that it didn't have enough of the trio (Harry Potter fanfiction btw)...

She was fairly rude about it though, so my friend wrote back saying like, you know, why did you read so much of it then, it was clear from chapter one that it was going to be this way, so you know.. I made it clear. I think you were a little harsh and I'd like to say that if you're going to be like that then I'd rather you didn't review again..

The girl actually apologised though, explained what she had meant a little better, and then conceded that although it was well writtten, it just wasnt her thing. Said good work on the writing skills and said she wouldn't be continuing to read.

I think she was lucky that she got a reader that actually apologised for coming across the way she did though, she had another person who would review every chapter, on the day it was posted, saying variations of:


She told the girl to stop it, and hasnt had a review from her since. Hahaha.

175 Name: moonphase : 2010-03-18 12:39 ID:D3by96XU

yeah, sounds to me like the person felt genuinly kinda silly, so I would let it go. I've never had any really nonsensical reviews, esp like the one RayRay pointed out. I am more careful when I review now, I try and make them as clear and (if necessary) as constructive as possible.

176 Name: soul surfing : 2010-03-21 13:45 ID:88+LFp7W

What annoys me incredibly is when they spell things ridiculously, so you can barely tell what they're saying.
"Ehm, some parts are really cousin"

That actually is from one of my stories, and I was tempted to e-mail them something sarcastic. Instead, I ignored it. Works fine. :D

177 Name: Fee : 2010-03-21 13:55 ID:DvJy6Zf0

>>176 Did the reviewer mean confusing? That's the only word I can get out of that.

178 Name: Lupa Dracolis : 2010-03-21 14:49 ID:8g/eAeXB

>>176 Some parts are really like my cousin's? As in a cousin who writes fanfic?

179 Name: Carmzziiee : 2010-03-22 06:30 ID:NthUXmD4

Lol. I totally agree. I may not be the best speller, but I once got an inbox critizing my grammar on one of my stories. It just made me lol so hard becase:
a) They spellt Idiot- idot Grammar- grammer ect.
b) Eg. you idot. carnt you now how 2 spell a simpl word.
And he/ she critizises me?

180 Name: Alaric Dahmer : 2010-03-24 01:56 ID:R5YlVRMK

>>179 that is what i call, a fail.

181 Name: Elkkun : 2010-03-24 07:31 ID:R5YlVRMK

>>180 you call ANYTHING a fail...

182 Post deleted by moderator.

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