OC Character and Ideas for a Story (26)

1 Name: Munia : 2011-01-02 21:14 ID:iY8YIigC

If anyone likes these kinds of stories IF they are in fact well written. Here is a profile for a story.

Fandom: Harry Potter

Plot: During Triwizard Tournament not only Ron but also Hermione get mad at him. As a result he needs to find a solution for the problem known as the First Task aka Dragons himself he meets a a person. Technically he drops a book on her and she yells at him and they got kicked out of the library by madame Pince. After they get kicked out, the girl calms down and asks him what he was doing in the library and strangely enough Harry tells her about his problem perhaps because he was ridiculously stressed and the Voldemort dreams did not help.

So what do you think??? Would you read the story?

2 Name: Mungetsu : 2011-01-03 09:01 ID:F1+uAFnV

...So a high school girl helps Harry out with his cursed-filled dreams and dragon fight. ...Okay, not help out, but just be there for him. I would read it if the girl being there for him doesn't actually solve Harry's problems. It shouldn't make Harry feel completely better, calm, at ease, warm enough to ignore his fear, or serene, either. :D

Btw, I don't think Harry would openly tell someone about his Voldemort dreams. I doubt he'd tell a muggle about his dragon fight, too.

3 Name: THEKyuubi27 : 2011-01-03 10:51 ID:nWNb43Xe

No. Good plot, but no. I mean, like >>2 said, she shouldn't help him. Harry has pride, so her helping him, would upset him. But if you could make it so she comforts him, then it would be ok

4 Name: Munia : 2011-01-03 11:28 ID:iY8YIigC

She is not a muggle and i thought about them having a shouting match. and i don't mean that he tells her about the Voldemeort dreams and the dragon but more like he blows up kind of like this maybe?

"You have no idea what i am going through and you standing here and yelling at me does not help!"

that kind of thing they fight and he goes off. later on he meets her in the Gryffindor common room because well. She is in the same house. They make a very tentative friendship. After a while when Hermione and Ron start talking to him again it turns out that the girl and Hermione are not exactly the best of friends.

5 Name: Munia : 2011-01-03 11:42 ID:iY8YIigC

Here is the basic profile

Name: Marie Dubois

Year: same year

Appearance: 5'6, black hair that goes to shoulders almost always unkempt and in a ponytail. Braces. Palish skin. Mostly wears sweatpants and t-shirts when not in class. Unkempt appearance. Almost always has cat hair on her. Baby fat still on body.

Likes: cooking, reading, potions, her cat, eating

Best subject: potions (is very, very good at it), Charms

Good subject: Ancient Runes,Herbology

Horrible at: History of Magic, Astronomy, Transfiguration (only gets by the skin of teeth)

Pet: long haired orange cat by the name of Rada. Hence the cat hair

Hobbies: learning new languages, cooking, eating, getting lost.

Strengths: potions, cooking, good at charm work. Physically strong. Has stamina.

Weaknesses: navigation of any kind (gets Troll on Astronomy), transfiguration

So what do you think? She is actually part of the Universe in my head. One of the important parts too.

6 Name: Yemi Hikari : 2011-01-04 03:04 ID:03LPic5/

I think may you have an anti-sue on your hands. Sure, you plugged in a few flaws, but... they don't seem like fatal flaws. And yes, you didn't describe your OC as looking mondo perfect, but you did desribe her as mondo imperfect. And while it is an interesting plot, would Pince really kick someone out of the library for one yell? If it was loud enough, she would go and investigate to see if anyone was hurt and I don't think she would get mad at an honest accident. As for if I could read it, I think only if it was a one-shot from what I know here.

7 Name: Munia : 2011-01-04 10:56 ID:iY8YIigC

Um...what exactly is mondo imperfect? i have never heard of the term. I was actually looking at a series. My original universe (the one in my head) is more complicated though. Also the fight was more of a shouting match a really loud one too because Marie well responded.

See here is the whole story.

Marie is well...not exactly human i guess. She is part of a race that populates itself by giving their children to humans or humanoid species to raise. They don't actually bear the children themselves. It is more like the souls of the kids are given for safe keeping to people. the ones that will have the child will get benefits from it as well.

the benefits are good health for the family. and the parents need to give consent to it as well. in the end the parents are still the parents of the child but when they turn 16 they come into their full power. There are 2 main subspecies the ones that are affiliated with Moon and the ones affiliated with the Sun.

They also live in a realm separated from Earth but they are not the only species there. There are people, elves, goblins, giants and all sorts of people/creatures/monsters living there and there is magic in abundance. Also they are paired with the same gender most of the time. Very few are paired with the opposite gender.

There also are 1 head for each subspecies. they were part of the realm for a very long time and are completely neutral.

Now here is the problem. Marie is part of the Moon and is a powerful person. At some point it so happened that one of the sorcerers who was part of a kingdom at war decided to invoke something dangerous and that they did not know how to control. Because of their not being able to control whatever it is that they were invoking. the realm was getting sick. at first it was not that visible but after a number of years people started to notice that there was something wrong but the sickness was way too deep in the core of world. no matter what anyone tried be they human, elves, creatures they only succeeded in slowing it down with varying degrees of success.

the Sun and Moon clans were also worried, they were powerful but even they were getting weaker because of their affiliation with the elements and the Water and Earth users were slowly getting weaker which affected their counterparts and in turn weakened the Fire and Air.

The head of the Moon decided to do something about it. her affiliation was with the Moon and so she did not feel as much strain from the sickness itself but due to the fact that she could feel the pain of her people she needed to do something and fast (no that is not Marie). she prepared a spell that would hopefully either destroy the contagion or at the very least freeze it until a more powerful solution comes into being. the drawback is that it would severely weaken her.

so tell me what you think? good? bad? i should obliterate the notion of this whole thing?

also i am truly sorry that you have to read this.

8 Name: Lupa Dracolis : 2011-01-04 13:17 ID:LVhoiLXf

Oh, you have got to be kidding me.

9 Name: Munia : 2011-01-04 19:05 ID:iY8YIigC

Is it bad??? Sorry if it is. It sounds much better in my head. Sigh sorry...

10 Name: Bitch Goddess : 2011-01-04 19:05 ID:dllQBnAX

>>7 I believe what Yemi meant by mondo imperfect, is that rather than strive to make her beautiful, or even cute, you strove to make her almost ugly in appearance. Many writers of fanfiction do this in an attempt to keep their OC from being a Mary-Sue, but instead create an anti-Sue (as Yemi has already said) which are just as annoying. I also agree with Yemi that Pince would likely not kick someone out for yelling, however, if it was a screaming match she would definately kick them out, and likely send them to someone for detention as well.

Regarding your universe...I would ditch it. Entering entire universes into already established fandoms is not only tricky, it also will garnish more disdain from readers than anything else. Not to mention, parts of your plot have been done absolutely to death in both fanfiction and original fiction. Also, HP is a complicated enough fandom to write in, especially if it's during their school years, and it will be very difficult for readers to keep all of the people straight.

All in all, I would recommend just ditch the story. Throwing the universe in there combined with an anti-Sue sounding character, and a beginning point which is unbelievable (as >>2 pointed out) just sounds like a very poor story that I doubt many people would stick with.

Hopefully you find something that works for you :)

11 Name: Munia : 2011-01-04 19:11 ID:iY8YIigC

Should i just keep it in the mind as an amusement factor? Because i will. Besides i am lazy so this would not see the light of day for a long time but i guess i should probably destroy all of the fanfiction that i have. Destroy it, obliterate it and smack myself with a book.

I guess i should just stick to the reading part and not the writing part...


12 Name: Munia : 2011-01-04 19:22 ID:iY8YIigC

Thank you very much. I am not that good at working with actual characters. I don't want to ruin them so i might as well ruin my own.

Then...how about a story about the people who were in Hogwarts for example in the same year or above as Harry but had nothing to do with him? For example a story about a person that was not attached to them at all?

I could try to make it a non connected POV's from a student from all of the houses and how all this saving the world thing rains on their time at hogwarts because let's face it. The main problems came when Harry came to Hogwarts. Before that there was no Basilisk petrifying people, there were no mass murderers running around and school was well...school...

13 Name: Bitch Goddess : 2011-01-04 20:59 ID:dllQBnAX

>>12 First of all, calm down. I'm not trying to be insulting, I'm trying to be honest with you. I'm trying to help. No one said you needed to obliterate anything, just that this particular idea is not a winner necessarily.

Second of all, now that idea sounds interesting. I'm not sure that you could turn it into a full-blown story, but a series of one-shots would be very interesting. We very rarely get to hear anything about what other students think about Harry with the exception of the varying whispers in each book. Creating some OC's would be fun, but also using some canon characters would be fun as well. Maybe some insight on people who interact with Harry, but not closely; perhaps people such as Cedric Diggory, Seamus Finnegan, Blaise Zabini, and Cormac McLaggen.

I hope you find a way to make this idea work, I think you could really have something. If you want a beta reader for it I would be pleased to see where the idea goes and would offer my help if you'd like. But, if you had a problem with my first post it's probably not a good idea...I'm not someone who sugar coats stuff.

14 Name: Munia : 2011-01-04 21:21 ID:iY8YIigC

Sorry. I did not think that you were insulting it is just that i have ideas and i would very much want to make a story that people would actually enjoy because i very much like reading and if i could perhaps make something that others would enjoy i think that i could accomplish something i guess meaningful. Also i would be honored to have you be my BETA as soon as i will gather the necessary movement to actually write it. I hope that you are good with grammar and punctuation because i am horrible at that...

15 Name: Bitch Goddess : 2011-01-04 21:40 ID:dllQBnAX

Haha I understand having problems with movement...just ask anyone who reads my fics lol
Grammar is my specialty actually :) Just whenever you're ready.

16 Name: Munia : 2011-01-04 22:53 ID:iY8YIigC

thank you very much. i have the same nickname on ff.net and i have a lot of favorites so in the meanwhile maybe you can find something interesting to read if you are interested.

17 Name: Yemi Hikari : 2011-01-05 14:24 ID:03LPic5/

If you really, really want to go with this idea of putting your special universe into HP, the thing you should do is create a fictionpress account and write up the original fandom first, giving the needed depth to your characters and such. In other words, create your other fandom, and then it will be easy to treat it as a crossover. It will for one thing, help you get the kinks worked out, which... while it is a good idea, it is sure to have a few kinks to work out as does any of our own universes that we create.

Because as someone pointed out, while there are a ton of cool ideas running around up in your head, many fanfic writers don't look highly upon people entering brand new creatures into someone elses already world. Not unless a whole lot more depth is gone into it. Also, if you go with the idea, have the characters from your univerce cross over into other fandoms. Also keep in mind, this is not at all an easy write.

18 Name: Marth : 2011-01-05 15:18 ID:0IOk3fW+

>>17 I just want to reinforce Yemi's point here, because she's completely right. However, I'd go a step further: WHY do you specifically want to write HP fanfic when you have this whole original world to explore? The plot you outlined at the beginning of this thread is a pretty darn generic OC plot, which (as Bitch Goddess pointed out earlier) certainly doesn't need a whole universe of backstory to fit some chick into. If you want to write about the world you made, write about it! You don't have to hide behind fanfic, especially if you're uncomfortable using other people's characters.

19 Name: Munia : 2011-01-05 16:16 ID:iY8YIigC

i will try that, thanks. it was in my head for a while now but i can't seem to know how to start it out...

what do you think about the 2nd idea though?

20 Name: Yemi Hikari : 2011-01-05 19:09 ID:03LPic5/

>>19 - You mean your original world? Or the HP fic... a little confused. Want to be as helful as possible.

21 Name: Marth : 2011-01-05 19:36 ID:0IOk3fW+

>>19 Assuming you mean the second HP fic, I think it could be a really fun idea, but I'm not sure that you'll get a lot of readers, since the big-deal canon characters presumably won't be in it much.

If that doesn't deter you (and I don't think it should), I'd say go for it. The two things you need to keep in mind are (a) the level of importance your plot can have, and (b) continuity. By "level of importance," I mean that it has to be something that could have conceivably happened in the background of the canon without the canon characters feeling the need to comment on or fix it on-page. And by "continuity," I mean that just because the canon is ignoring you, that doesn't mean you can ignore the canon. Make sure you know exactly when your story is set, and if there's something going on (the Triwizard Tournament, for instance) that all or most students would care about, your characters should care too.

The idea you had, about normal students dealing with the fallout of all the crazy shit that happens when Harry's around, sounds like it would fit both of these criteria beautifully.

22 Name: Munia : 2011-01-05 22:51 ID:iY8YIigC

I actually thought about making it a story, since oneshots need ideas or maybe a series of oneshots...confusing i know...

I actually thought about maybe the story being something like this. In the first year people meet and friendships are made and the story could center itself on those students.

i guess i want to tell about the lives of the ordinary students and how they deal with all the craziness...

Something like this i guess.

23 Name: Anonymous : 2011-01-06 01:19 ID:03LPic5/

>>22 - You mean slice of life? Like >>21 says, you aren't likely to get many people interested in that, particularly if you focus to much on OC characters. The point is to write for yourself. Be upfront that it is one-shots or slice of life though. Oh, and use a canon character in each chapter if possible.

24 Name: jyuuken114 : 2011-01-06 09:03 ID:ArYwsEmB

Sorry my clumsy self posted in the wrong thread (this happened when i postd for the first time too).. Urgh <bangs head on the desk>
sorry again

25 Name: jyuuken114 : 2011-01-06 09:03 ID:ArYwsEmB

Sorry my clumsy self posted in the wrong thread (this happened when i postd for the first time too).. Urgh <bangs head on the desk>
sorry again

26 Name: Elkkun : 2011-01-24 08:51 ID:4rd/dIFC

>>25 + >>26
We all make mistakes -pats you on the back-

Name: Link:
Leave these fields empty (spam trap):
More options...