story idea's gd or bad (25)

1 Name: nefertel : 2010-05-31 15:33 ID:sNy8Tg48

some may remember some time ago i put a thread on here with help on starting a story i was stuck with. so many gave me great ideas and i have decided on one and i was just hoping for your thoughts.

starts modern day around 1970's then flashes back to centurys before with them remembering moment like first meetings and stuff like that. it does that quite a few times through out the story,then leads into the future around 2000

how does that sound to people please any comment is welcome good or bad

2 Name: CaffinH : 2010-05-31 15:58 ID:PZN/jO9b

it sounds like a really good idea :) what r u writing it for? as in what story/film/manga ect.? Ill read it if i know it :)

3 Name: Lupa Dracolis : 2010-06-01 00:39 ID:Hn9OD8YF

Okay, first off: idea's what? An apostrophe indicates that something belongs to someone or something else. You do not need them for a plural. Secondly, gd? That is NOT a word, as you can tell by the lack of vowels. I think the word you are looking for is good. Also, 'I' should always be capitalised, again, 1970's makes no sense, and the plural of century is centuries. Finally, the start of each sentence requires a capital letter for the first letter of the first word.

4 Name: Iaculus : 2010-06-01 02:41 ID:jjwKAxkR

A basic grasp of spelling and grammar may be in order before you attempt anything as complicated as a story.

5 Name: nefertel : 2010-06-01 12:55 ID:PbZcC6E4

Okay first of all I wasn't looking for help with my grammer or my spellings, yes for this they could be better but this isn't a story. I had put something on here some time ago and people gave me some good ideas. I was simply asking people if the idea I had taken was a good one. Also I have already written stories for FanFiction which have been quite succesful. So please next time some one writes something on here it can seem quite rude to correct them of there spelling and grammer mistakes that person could of been dyslexic and could of been offended. Luckily I am not and even though I am a little taken back by what you have put I know you was just trying to help but in future please just read what has been written and answer that.

To answer you CaffinH the story was something two of my friends and I messed with in college giving oursleves the characters. I decided to later on make it into a story, it has similarities from books and films around now but not based on any of the characters or story lines. It is simply a one of story I have been trying to start writing.

6 Name: nefertel : 2010-06-01 12:55 ID:PbZcC6E4

Okay first of all I wasn't looking for help with my grammer or my spellings, yes for this they could be better but this isn't a story. I had put something on here some time ago and people gave me some good ideas. I was simply asking people if the idea I had taken was a good one. Also I have already written stories for FanFiction which have been quite succesful. So please next time some one writes something on here it can seem quite rude to correct them of there spelling and grammer mistakes that person could of been dyslexic and could of been offended. Luckily I am not and even though I am a little taken back by what you have put I know you was just trying to help but in future please just read what has been written and answer that.

To answer you CaffinH the story was something two of my friends and I messed with in college giving oursleves the characters. I decided to later on make it into a story, it has similarities from books and films around now but not based on any of the characters or story lines. It is simply a one of story I have been trying to start writing.

7 Name: nefertel : 2010-06-01 12:56 ID:PbZcC6E4

Okay first of all I wasn't looking for help with my grammer or my spellings, yes for this they could be better but this isn't a story. I had put something on here some time ago and people gave me some good ideas. I was simply asking people if the idea I had taken was a good one. Also I have already written stories for FanFiction which have been quite succesful. So please next time some one writes something on here it can seem quite rude to correct them of there spelling and grammer mistakes that person could of been dyslexic and could of been offended. Luckily I am not and even though I am a little taken back by what you have put I know you was just trying to help but in future please just read what has been written and answer that.

To answer you CaffinH the story was something two of my friends and I messed with in college giving oursleves the characters. I decided to later on make it into a story, it has similarities from books and films around now but not based on any of the characters or story lines. It is simply a one of story I have been trying to start writing.

8 Name: ... : 2010-06-01 13:06 ID:D/TMP0xO

Well now.

OkayCOMMA first of all I wasn't looking for help with my grammAr or my spellingsSEMICOLON yesCOMMA for this they could be betterCOMMA but this isn't a story. I had put something on here some time ago and people HAD GIVEN me some good ideas. I was simply asking people if the idea I had taken was a good one. AlsoCOMMA I have already written stories for fanfiction which have been COMPLETELY UNsuccesSful. So pleaseCOMMA next time someNOSPACEone writes something on hereCOMMA WHAT THE HELL THIS SENTENCE MAKES NO SENSE OH WELL I'LL JUST FIX WHAT I CAN it can seem quite rude to correct them of thEIR spelling and grammAr mistakesSEMICOLON that person could HAVE been dyslexic and could HAVE been offended. LuckilyCOMMA I am notCOMMA and even though I am a little taken Aback by what you have put I know you WERE just trying to helpCOMMA but in future please just read what has been written and answer that BECAUSE SPELLING AND GRAMMAR HINDER MY ARTISTIC SPIRIT, GODDAMN YOU.

To answer youCOMMA CaffinHCOMMA the story was something two of my friends and I messed with in collegeCOMMA giving oursELves the characters. LATER ON, I DECIDED TO make it into a storySEMICOLON it has similarities TO books and films around now but IS not based on any of the characters or story lines. It is simply a one ofF story I have been trying to start writing.

Fix'd! Or rather, less broken.

9 Name: nefertel : 2010-06-01 13:07 ID:+B+rsIpu

sorry to all my laptop was playing up it sent my thread more than once

10 Name: nefertel : 2010-06-01 13:19 ID:KzAmpM5q

EXCUSE ME but who do you think you are, so what if my grammar or my spellings isn't fantastic on a site which is used for getting help or giving ideas

what gives u the right to be a JERK and an ASS to everyone

11 Name: moonphase : 2010-06-01 13:30 ID:umoEm03k

>>1 starts modern day around 1970's then flashes back to centurys before with them remembering moment like first meetings and stuff like that. it does that quite a few times through out the story,then leads into the future around 2000

I need more informtion before I can say if I think it's a decent storyline. Who (or what) are the characters? Are they immortal, or people remembering past lives? And is it a love story or how all the characters become friends?

12 Name: moonphase : 2010-06-01 13:33 ID:umoEm03k

>>10, my advice to you is just take the criticism and chill. You're on a site full of writers, people are bound to criticise your grammar and spelling, it happens on here all the time. Besides, if your writing improves in general (even just on a forum site) that's no bad thing, right?

13 Name: nefertel : 2010-06-01 13:44 ID:VHpFZ8dE

yes moonphase it is a love story the characters for the most part are vampire they are remembering thier lives together.

and i am all for any helpful criticism but that was just rude on here unless asked for it is not an grammar and spellings checking site. i wouldn't have minded so much if they had not responded like they had nip picking at a comment i had left.

14 Name: ... : 2010-06-01 14:10 ID:D/TMP0xO

@13- It's 'nitpicking', not 'nip picking'.

I shall not excuse you; you have given me no reason to do so. As for who I think I am, that's a very difficult question, for what man truly knows himself? Only the shallowest fool and the wisest sage, I should imagine, and I do imagine that I am somewhere between these two extremes. I have no idea who 'u' is, either, so I query the point of your little rant about him/her.

Out of interest, what gives you the right to butcher the English language?

15 Name: moonphase : 2010-06-01 14:19 ID:umoEm03k

>>13 oh right. 'Vampire for the most part'? So are they are...hybrids or something? And yep, that seems like quite a nice idea. What is going to be the running theme? So they are remembering their past, but is there something that ties it all together? (For example, in 'An Interview with a Vampire', it was about Lestat not wanting Louis to leave him, and then the awkward love-triangle-sort-of-thing. The overall theme seemed to be lonliness.)And did one 'make' the other? Are there times when they split up (like Darla and Angel?)
And trust me, getting mad about criticism will just fan the flames on here, just accept it, absorb it and move on. Many of us have people on here criticise us (well...I have, lol,) it's ok.

16 Name: BlackMage16 : 2010-06-01 14:43 ID:c+Vj9OPR

>>13 You should take it in good spirit. It's not a bad thing if someone tries to give you helpful criticism. Your grammar wasn't very good, that is a fact. I know that you are aware of it, but you need to realise it's not a bad thing if someone points out those errors. This is a site for writers to chat and seek advice from other writers, and good grammar is important to many writers. It is not rude when someone points out those errors as Lupa and Iaculus did, they were merely trying to help. Your reaction, however, was entirely disproportionate to the situation and that will only cause more people to comment otherwise as Ellipsis has done. Just take it in good grace and move on.

On another note, I didn't quite understand the idea for your story. As you said, the story starts in the 1970s then it skips back centuries and the characters have flashbacks as to first meetings and so on. So are the characters having flashbacks in the 1970s or are the flashbacks occurring in the earlier time period?
You also said that the story is a romance with the main characters as vampires. Are both characters vampires? And have they been together all these centuries (a time span would be helpful)? Or have they reunited in the 1970s/ 2000s and this reunion is what spurs the flashbacks?

The idea sounds interesting at the moment, although rather generic so far. When I first saw the idea I thought it was to do with reincarnation, the characters meet again and this spurs vivid flashback sequences and so on. The vampire idea also sounds really cool but it would be nice if you incorporate some action, maybe a pivotal event occurs making two former lovers cross paths again.
More information about the story would be helpful, if you really want some advice etc. Also, try to work on the grammar, nothing drastic, just capitalising your 'I's and just making a little more sense. I mean this in the nicest way possible; it would make it easier for people to understand what you are saying. And this way, you would avoid comments on your grammar and people would focus on the story idea instead.

17 Name: Iaculus : 2010-06-01 16:44 ID:jjwKAxkR

>>5 The advice stands. Spelling and grammar are far more fundamental aspects of writing than plotting or storycrafting - to attempt a story without them is roughly akin to attempting a seven-person roast without knowing how to operate an oven. Even if you did not ask for it, it is a necessary step in order for us to be able to help you with the rest of your potential fic.

I apologise for the bluntness of the advice, but FF.net's average story quality really would be significantly improved if more people heeded it.

18 Name: ... : 2010-06-01 17:13 ID:D/TMP0xO

Do you know, Iaccy, the most curious thing- I was musing upon a cooking simile, too! Mine involved building the Sistine Chapel out of jelly without a mould, but details, details...

19 Name: Iaculus : 2010-06-01 17:29 ID:jjwKAxkR

... I need pizza.

20 Name: ... : 2010-06-02 14:15 ID:D/TMP0xO

I'm eating fried chicken.

21 Name: Iaculus : 2010-06-02 14:39 ID:jjwKAxkR

I'm eating pizza.

As outcomes go, this is a net positive.

22 Name: ... : 2010-06-02 14:52 ID:D/TMP0xO

... My chicken wasn't very good...

23 Name: nefertel : 2010-06-02 15:51 ID:+fkPLL0S

I realise my response was not the right response and I thank you all for your comments I will try and head the advice.

As for the other comments they are lovers through out time, one is a vampire first then the other. It starts in the 70's and through out the story during different scenario's they remember different times in thier past.

It is a story of endless love and family spaning over 2000 years i hope this has enlightened you a little bit and i apologise for my grammar. English was not one of my best subjects in school.

24 Name: Iaculus : 2010-06-02 16:03 ID:jjwKAxkR

Long or short story? Sounds workable, but likely to overstay its welcome if you try to stretch it out too far without other dimensions to add to the narrative.

Of course, the execution is the important bit here - I've always been of the opinion that any story-concept can work when approached the right way and with sufficient talent, whilst no concept can save a badly-executed story.

In this case, the interpersonal relationships are key. You'd have to make your central characters likeable, fleshed-out types with a believable romance as well as meaningful interactions with other (non-Designated-Love-Interest) members of the cast. That is to say, not the Twilight crew.

25 Name: nefertel : 2010-06-03 06:49 ID:bli/gEhS

Not a very long story but not short either. I will try and keep all that in mind

Thank you

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